i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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