Soap is not a condiment
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
