Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you told grandpa to call you daddy
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?