I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.