I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love having hate sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.