Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
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you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...