how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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