How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.