i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
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If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All the doctor said was why
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence