you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
