im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize