i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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