my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
