I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
