i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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