I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
