Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
