Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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