I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize