but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
