What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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