After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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