weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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