she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they're like a gay fantastic four
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
