Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
