Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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