What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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