Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
