so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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