is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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