chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
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Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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