Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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