Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
