that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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