just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
