sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
