i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
