my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
