you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
