PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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