Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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