Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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