And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
