Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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