I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
