im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
tell me about the eggs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
