My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
