Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
