Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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