I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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