I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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