thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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