those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
