new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
