singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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