I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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