I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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