am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize