they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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