i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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