The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
