At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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